The Tankie Taxonomy
Shills, Tankies, WuMao, all have a unique niche in the information warfare ecosystem. But they are often mixed up, mislabeled and misunderstood. Today we consider the SubGenus "Tankius Propagandius".
Etymology:
The original Tankies were European Communists unwilling to believe the evidence of their own eyes during the Hungarian uprising of 1956. And then again in Czechoslovakia in 1968. Tankies were those who supported the Russians driving the tanks over the nice people. Todays Tankies tend to support the aims of the CCP, globally, and the Tank now refers to those used in 1989 in Beijing.
Taxonomy And Evolution:
Tankius Propagandius begin life with the potential to evolve into common or garden variety leftists, but at a critical point in maturation, adverse environmental impacts or internal predestination leads to mutation into diverse creatures with common traits. Unable to find social and economic nutrition in their natural environment, they wander until they find a host, with which they develop relationships that are symbiotic with other tankies, but parasitic with respect to their host, who will favour their development until the tankie ceases to perform it’s desired function from the perspective of the host and they are ignored, discarded or eaten. They are the “Remora” of the information warfare and political influence ecosystem.
Distribution:
Tankius Propagandius can be found anywhere but tend to flourish or develop in China, where Pre-Tankie organisms can mutate into full blown Tankies if identified by the host or, quite often, on their own initiative, by attempting to feed from the host as a social and economic survival strategy.
This process of mutation is not unique to the socialist autocracy ecosystem:
Description:
The Shanghai Drillpig:
The Shanghai Drillpig (SDP) rarely strays far from its hutch in Shanghai, unless it is to Xinjiang to display it’s feathers on YouTube and gain snacks and scraps from it’s host. Having strayed from it’s native New Zealand and spent much time in Cambodia, China, and university campuses, the SDP is late to maturation but has found a social and survival niche that it could never achieve in any other ecosystem with it’s Drillpig’s breakfast CV. Natural selection in it’s purest form.
The Sonorous Warbler
Warblers are known for their great musical achievements, notably the A.Mus. Often found in tea gardens, they lead an apparently tenuous existence dependent on the bounty of the ecosystem, where tomorrows breakfast comes from gofundme.com or identified and anonymous payments direct to PayPal accounts. They have a truly novel survival strategy of providing eggs to the ecosystem and waiting for others to feather it’s nest. Since the Warbler thrives, it seems the symbiosis of publicity from the CCP ecosystem, including the Shanghai Drillpig, alerts patrons to cast unwanted morsels its way. Lurking in Canberra, it is originally from warmer climes and has led a semi nomadic existence with significant time in China where it’s current evolutionary strategy took root.
The Rarebird Barfly
The Rarebird is somewhat unique in that it takes its nutrition from the CCP ecosystem but there is no evidence to suggest it has exhibited seasonal migration or spent formative development periods in the hosts nest. It has led a stable existence in Melbourne for over 30 years and there are no obvious threats to its survival, so long as it performs its function in the CCP influence and propaganda ecosystem, it will continue to receive crumbs and scraps from other species who have symbiotic relations with the host - often quite indirect - but within the ecosystem.
Relationship With Humans:
Tankius Propagandius are rarely encountered in the real world, and there is speculation they are AI generated to populate social media and CCP controlled mainstream media, to support the narrative “it’s not the people that are the problem, (with Australia / the west) it’s just the government (and a few bad apples)”. Their grunts, warbles and squeaks are primarily directed at pro host elements deriving from the central nation, not the population that has produced them prior to their mutation.
Safety Precautions:
Recent sightings of the Sonorous Warbler skulking at a Canberra ASPI event confirm it is a real being, sad and unloved. Apparently it had been sitting there for days until one of the cleaners took this photo to show to his boss, to ask for direction on what to do.
Recent sightings of the Rarebird Barfly at a Melbourne LaTrobe University event confirm it is also a real creature. We will not include a link to YouTube or Twitter video of this as it is too embarrassing for the mother of the Rarebird. No one ever thinks about the family of the Tankie…. - aah, well we do.
Active Safety Measures:
A well known China researcher is a magnet for Tankius Propagandius (TP) and for the sake of the mental health of all concerned, if a TP and her are in the same location, we suggest forming a shield wall….
……..and tell jokes. Get someone brave to bring the TP multiple cups of tea until they need to leave for the rest room. Then adjourn to the pub.
Is the Shanghai Drillpig real ? If it is, it is hard to imagine it would leave Shanghai for a world without reliable sustenance and social support. Having become fully reliant on the host, it better hope, like the remora, that it’s food source never gets hungry. All known photographs show a trance like figure - but perhaps he’s posing for a photo to turn into an NFT ? tradeable in digital yuan ?
简单！